Post by NobleCometDeity on Aug 17, 2008 12:50:52 GMT -5
Hello everybody, although my username prevents anyone from knowing who I am, I am Hasire from the Pokemon Diamond message board and Smogon. I have tried to make my mark in the world as a prolific troll and Smogon asskisser, and while I was able to achieve my goal of being the 32455436547865th person to latch onto chaos's balls, my life as a troll hasn't gone so well.
Because of this, I am turning myself in. I can't face my family and friends (really just family, I have no friends, though my parents viewed me as a failure long before this), knowing that I failed to troll you GGFan, the most hated person on Smogon. I tried to get to you, but no matter how hard I tried, it just didn't work. My trolling methods of posting like an idiot worked on all of the 10 year olds who frequent the Diamond board, and even managed to get them to believe I was some kind of great battler even. Oh how I fooled them, if only they knew how much I sucked at Pokemon, and at life.
I'd like to go more into detail about my Pokemon "career". I started out on the Pokemon Gold board a couple of years ago, I learned how to kiss people's asses here, approving everything the bitter veterans who had no life said, even though I knew nothing about competitive Pokemon. I made freakin' ingame topics for christ sakes! Anyways, it was also here that I learned about this amazing website called Smogon.com. I registered, and I was so mesmerized by thousands of people lining up to suck chaos and Vineon's small, primply penises that I said to myself "this is what I was destined to do".
I became a Smogon godber (member is too inferior of a name for a site like Smogon), on July 10th, 2006. I'll never forget that day, making my account in my dark and dingy basement. And my cruel mother, oh what a bitch. "Stinky, if you don't get up here for dinner I'm locking the door for the rest of the night!". Although I love Smogon, I love my fish-heads even more. Well, it might be tied actually.
In the same month, I signed up for a tournament on the Pokemon Gold message board, an anything goes tournament. I was happy that the person who I hated more than life itself, GGFan, wasn't in it, as he was a resident of the board (I learned all about the son of Satan himself on Smogon), but at the last second he got subbed in. Damn it.
I managed to reach the second round, where I was paired against GGFan. I wanted to beat this guy so bad, it would have been the defining moment of my sad and miserable life aside from making an account at Smogon. I wanted this guy dead! I wanted to humiliate this guy in a tournament where there were no rules! And so I did......NOT! I LOST! FUCK YOU GGFAN! ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHH! July 31st, 2006, I lost to GGFan.....
I contemplated suicide for the next three months. A Smogon's dream is to defeat GGFan, because it's so hard, maybe even impossible to do so. I set up an old school noose in the basement, right next to my beloved. I love you so much, and I know you love me too, computer. I was going to hang myself, but then realized that most of the battlers on Smogon suck just like I did, and don't do anything besides make horrible social topics and troll GGFan. It was coming upon this realization that I knew....I fitted in. I was one of the boys now.
I couldn't have been happier. I was the happiest girl in the world (Yes, I'm a girl, save your "omgz a gurl pics now" quips). However, about a year later, I was diagnosed with a terrible disease; Dumbcuntitis. This caused me to grow obscenely fat and stupid (I was fat and stupid before, but this was ridiclulous). I was always hungry, to the point where I thought about eating my beloved at one point. I had to frantically fight myself not to, without my beloved, I couldn't go to Smogon anymore.
I just kept saying the words "Smogon, Smogon, Smogon" over in my stupid, fucked up little head, and eventually I calmed down. It didn't take too long before I was typing on Smogon again, pretending I was all that. Pokemon Diamond had come out, and I figured the best way to make myself a known Smogon gold-digger would be to spam everything they do and say. Unfortunately most of the board didn't care, and this led me to retreat to the Pokemon Battle Revolution message board.
It was here that I gained respect upon some of Pokemon's biggest idiots like this one guy goldenlucario. He chews up the English language and doesn't spit, but barfs it out, and thinks he's coming off as a knowledgeable figure. Haha! Or how about Bosgoed, one of my buttbuddies, who makes some of the most worthless topics you'll ever see, spreading his elitism that only he cares about.
In 2008, GGFan found his way here, and made some innocent posts and topics. I simply could not have this, and decided to hack everyone's accounts. I wanted to make sure everyone would believe GGFan is an evil person, so I went on to eventually hack the following accounts:
Ice3090
Bosgoed
nidoking_omega
Flounder
SpeedyChocobo
ruesap
boltsquirt
Ray Gun
AbsoluteBlack
There are some others too. Anyways, I also gave my Hasire account anyway. This is me saying sorry for everything I've done GGFan, but I still troll towards you because I have a lot of mental diseases that I'm being treated for. No matter what anyone says, I'm all of the aforementioned accounts, as well as anyone else stupid enough to call you clad.
I hope you can forgive me, ASSSHOLE!
See? I did it again!
Because of this, I am turning myself in. I can't face my family and friends (really just family, I have no friends, though my parents viewed me as a failure long before this), knowing that I failed to troll you GGFan, the most hated person on Smogon. I tried to get to you, but no matter how hard I tried, it just didn't work. My trolling methods of posting like an idiot worked on all of the 10 year olds who frequent the Diamond board, and even managed to get them to believe I was some kind of great battler even. Oh how I fooled them, if only they knew how much I sucked at Pokemon, and at life.
I'd like to go more into detail about my Pokemon "career". I started out on the Pokemon Gold board a couple of years ago, I learned how to kiss people's asses here, approving everything the bitter veterans who had no life said, even though I knew nothing about competitive Pokemon. I made freakin' ingame topics for christ sakes! Anyways, it was also here that I learned about this amazing website called Smogon.com. I registered, and I was so mesmerized by thousands of people lining up to suck chaos and Vineon's small, primply penises that I said to myself "this is what I was destined to do".
I became a Smogon godber (member is too inferior of a name for a site like Smogon), on July 10th, 2006. I'll never forget that day, making my account in my dark and dingy basement. And my cruel mother, oh what a bitch. "Stinky, if you don't get up here for dinner I'm locking the door for the rest of the night!". Although I love Smogon, I love my fish-heads even more. Well, it might be tied actually.
In the same month, I signed up for a tournament on the Pokemon Gold message board, an anything goes tournament. I was happy that the person who I hated more than life itself, GGFan, wasn't in it, as he was a resident of the board (I learned all about the son of Satan himself on Smogon), but at the last second he got subbed in. Damn it.
I managed to reach the second round, where I was paired against GGFan. I wanted to beat this guy so bad, it would have been the defining moment of my sad and miserable life aside from making an account at Smogon. I wanted this guy dead! I wanted to humiliate this guy in a tournament where there were no rules! And so I did......NOT! I LOST! FUCK YOU GGFAN! ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHH! July 31st, 2006, I lost to GGFan.....
I contemplated suicide for the next three months. A Smogon's dream is to defeat GGFan, because it's so hard, maybe even impossible to do so. I set up an old school noose in the basement, right next to my beloved. I love you so much, and I know you love me too, computer. I was going to hang myself, but then realized that most of the battlers on Smogon suck just like I did, and don't do anything besides make horrible social topics and troll GGFan. It was coming upon this realization that I knew....I fitted in. I was one of the boys now.
I couldn't have been happier. I was the happiest girl in the world (Yes, I'm a girl, save your "omgz a gurl pics now" quips). However, about a year later, I was diagnosed with a terrible disease; Dumbcuntitis. This caused me to grow obscenely fat and stupid (I was fat and stupid before, but this was ridiclulous). I was always hungry, to the point where I thought about eating my beloved at one point. I had to frantically fight myself not to, without my beloved, I couldn't go to Smogon anymore.
I just kept saying the words "Smogon, Smogon, Smogon" over in my stupid, fucked up little head, and eventually I calmed down. It didn't take too long before I was typing on Smogon again, pretending I was all that. Pokemon Diamond had come out, and I figured the best way to make myself a known Smogon gold-digger would be to spam everything they do and say. Unfortunately most of the board didn't care, and this led me to retreat to the Pokemon Battle Revolution message board.
It was here that I gained respect upon some of Pokemon's biggest idiots like this one guy goldenlucario. He chews up the English language and doesn't spit, but barfs it out, and thinks he's coming off as a knowledgeable figure. Haha! Or how about Bosgoed, one of my buttbuddies, who makes some of the most worthless topics you'll ever see, spreading his elitism that only he cares about.
In 2008, GGFan found his way here, and made some innocent posts and topics. I simply could not have this, and decided to hack everyone's accounts. I wanted to make sure everyone would believe GGFan is an evil person, so I went on to eventually hack the following accounts:
Ice3090
Bosgoed
nidoking_omega
Flounder
SpeedyChocobo
ruesap
boltsquirt
Ray Gun
AbsoluteBlack
There are some others too. Anyways, I also gave my Hasire account anyway. This is me saying sorry for everything I've done GGFan, but I still troll towards you because I have a lot of mental diseases that I'm being treated for. No matter what anyone says, I'm all of the aforementioned accounts, as well as anyone else stupid enough to call you clad.
I hope you can forgive me, ASSSHOLE!
See? I did it again!
